What an underwhelming finale. There were some choice scenes but sadly they weren’t to warrant this episode a success. They completely lost the element of surprise in Jon Snow’s murder. It was telegraphed so early in the season, Alexander Graham bell could’ve sent it. All those talks about losing friends, having no allies, getting them all killed and especially the Olly death stares were pretty much a dead giveaway.
We also knew Shireen was going to die because it was foreshadowed a couple of episodes earlier. Not that it didn’t make the scene any less heart wrenching. We knew something bad was going to happen to Myrcella because the Sand Snakes made it very clear they want to chop her into little pieces and if they can’t chop her up, well they have poison via a sexposition scene.
Hardhome was pretty much the only saving grace in Season 5. The rest felt like filler – the cheap, grainy kind you find in the stale old strawberry croissants sitting on the shelf at your local bodega. The finale was no different. The pace of the episode was awfully sluggish. It felt like the show runners were trying too hard to cover too many things at once. It looked like they ran out of pages to write on. Of course, this had always been the problem. They have 10 episodes budgeted.
They wished they had more, but that’s all HBO is willing to give them. That didn’t stop them from baiting us into believing Benjen Stark was going to reappear though. That would’ve been a treat, especially for the book readers. Unfortunately, it turned out to be huge trolling from the producers. Jon’s first thought was probably, “Wait a minute, my Uncle isn’t a piece of wood! Durr!”
What could’ve made this season better? More wins for the good guys. There had been many wins for the baddies in this season. True balance is required for the viewers to be satisfied. You need the Yin to offset the Yang. Joffrey’s death last season was enough Yin to last the entire season. Tywin’s death capped off the loss of Oberyn nicely. People were satisfied. Did a bad thing happen to your favorite character? No worries; bad things happened to the bad guys too. It was satisfying and it was canon straight from the books. Season 5 had an unhealthy amount of Yangs.
Lady Stoneheart could’ve been the key to off-set the Yangs. For the non-book readers, she was Caitlyn Stark resurrected as a zombie by Thoros of Myr. Remember Thoros and the Brotherhood without Banners? Yeah, whatever happened to those guys? Are the producers hoping we forget? Their whole storyline led book readers to believe we’re about to see Lady Stoneheart in the finale, only to be left holding our collective boners.
The Bolton and Freys have gone unchecked for two seasons. They broke one of the most sacred rules in Westeros – do not harm your guests after they have partaken of bread and salt under your roof else you’ll incur the wrath of the gods. Lady Stoneheart served as a nice side of cold vengeance for the readers who wanted to get back at the Boltons and Frey.
She took over the Brotherhood without Banners and prowled the Riverlands hanging Freys, Boltons, or just about anyone who had any link with the architects behind the Red Wedding. For book readers, it was satisfying. Lady Stoneheart was the wrath of the gods. Where are the gods now? Not with Stannis Baratheon, that’s for sure. His god deserted him, along with the red woman masquerading as his magic charm.
Now that the season has ended, the rape of Sansa Stark can now be considered ill-thought and uncalled for. They could’ve done away with the rape and still have the same effect in the end. The writers seem to only want to shock and anger the fans and this is becoming more apparent as they run out of source material to reference. You need only look at all the negative reactions coming out of social media regarding Game of Thrones.
There was a slight glimmer of hope when Sansa picked up the Chekov Ice Pick. Unfortunately, that was used to unlock a door. How many fans were expecting an ice pick to Ramsay’s face? Just about all of them.
Yes, fans get it, the story isn’t meant to portray a happy fairy tale fantasy. The great part about A Song of Ice and Fire is its parallel to the real world’s atrocities. In the real world, the good guys don’t always win, and we don’t expect them to. If Sansa stabs Ramsay, she would’ve been punished or worse, killed by Bolton’s men. At least, that was the reasoning that made most sense when Sansa isn’t stabbing Ramsay to death like we all wanted.
Instead we have Sansa and Theon jumping from an ungodly height, the same height that split Miranda’s skull open. Miranda’s death was a nice little Yin for the good guys by the way. She was a minor character that wasn’t even in the book, but hey, we’ll take any little win we can get. The problem is, Sansa could’ve leapt off the wall AFTER stabbing Ramsay in the face. They clearly want to keep Ramsay alive to irk the fans.
The heroes aren’t meant to dodge every bullet, but that means the bad guys shouldn’t either. It’s one thing to have the protagonists have an aura of invincibility in a story, but it’s absolutely worse to give it only to the antagonists. We see this in a shirtless Ramsay Snow fighting off the best fighters the Iron Born had to offer during Asha Greyjoy’s attempt to free Theon.
Ramsay Snow and his 20 good men, who used their “Northern Terrain Knowledge” (read: Deux Ex Machina) to cripple Stannis’ army off-screen. Whatever happened to pics or it didn’t happen? Stannis is supposed to be the greatest military mind Westeros. He held Storm’s End during the Tyrell siege. He captured Dragonstone from the Targaryen for his brother and he smashed the Iron Fleet during Balon Greyjoy’s rebellion.
Ramsay Snow, bastard of the Dreadfort, made him look like a straw-filled training dummy. One can say Stannis was already a defeated man. After sacrificing his daughter to the fire, half his army abandoned him. His wife hanged herself. Melisandre deserted him and fled to Castle Black. Stannis was just having one of those Bad Day. That’s probably why he told Brienne of Tarth to just do her duty before the camera cuts out during her sword swing to finish him off. Brienne was wrong by the way, Renly was not the rightful king, but Stannis was to down to correct her.
Speaking of the good guys not losing, wasn’t it just weird to have Brienne waiting so long to see Sansa’s candle lit only to abandon it the moment it’s lit once she heard Stannis was in town? Well, that one moment she was waiting for and she decides to just abandon her post, how convenient. Some reverse form of Northern Terrain Knowledge?
We also see this with Baristan Selmy, the greatest knight who had ever lived, cut down like an old man. At the age of 10, Baristan won his first tourney. He singlehandedly ended the War of the Ninepenny Kings by killing a cadre of men before cutting down the pretender king. Baristan Selmy was the Mozart of hitting things with a sword. Baristan Selmy in the show died at the hands of a few rich aristocrats in a dark alleyway.
The same aristocrats who were able to overpower the Unsullies, the greatest soldiers that money can buy. Perhaps “The Greatest” anything doesn’t apply anymore. They’re people after all, but these events made it look like Ramsay is the greatest tactician who ever lived or the Sons of Harpy was the greatest insurgency in the history of Essos. Speaking of the Sons of Harpy, how did Jorah, Tyrion and Daario (JTD) survive the pits?
Last we saw, they were good as dead before Drogon flew in to save them. After he did all the saving he was allotted for that day, Drogon flew off. JTD are still there. Did the Sons of Harpy thought, “Ok, Queen’s gone, let’s call it a day?” Perhaps JTD used their “Northern Terrain Knowledge” to get away. Never mind that little plot hole. Instead, let’s enjoy the budding romance between Grey Worm and Missandei.
How about the future bromance between Jorah and Daario? For the erudite minded, we get the sitcom duo featuring Tyrion and Varys. One’s a half-man, the other is half of a man, together they rule a foreign city full of intrigue, treachery and pyramids -- hilarity ensues!
GRRM laid out the story to be filled with grey people. As mentioned earlier, not all good men are truly good and not all evil people are truly evil. It’s a lot like 50 Shades of Grey but with a lot more sex and torture. Unfortunately, the show is quickly turning into black and white. Sadly Tywin Lannister was the last grey character we had. Now we’re just left with the good guys and the bad guys.
There was a brief moment when Cersei almost became a grey character. Episode 1 gave us the insight of why she’s doing what she do, for her family and to avoid the prophecy. Her walk of shame, which was spot on and one of the better scenes in the finale, was meant to make us pity her. She had confessed to the adultery with Lancel but she still refuses to confess to fathering her children with her brother Jaime. Shame shame shame.
That’s what the nun said when she did the walk of shame. It ended with a bloody, broken Cersei greeted by her uncle Kevan and her Maester, Qyburn. We’re finally introduced to Ser Robert Strong, the mountain zombified. Robert Strong looks like he could use some Visine. With the addition of Robert Strong, Cersei is still seen as an evil character. She did her duty just to get out and now she is plotting even more dangerous things.
Unfortunately all the greys have died out unless you count Balon Greyjoy of course. Remember him? He was Theon’s father and the third name that was sentenced to death when Stannis tossed the leeches into the fire. He’s still alive. Technically, he won the War of Five Kings. The guy’s probably having the time of his life walking up and down bridges unbothered. Book readers will get this joke.
Arya’s was actually enjoyable. She had a goal in mind and she accomplished it. Hiding as a servant girl using a stolen face from the hall of faces, she was able to sneak into Meryn Trant’s bedchambers and assassinate him in one of the gorier scenes. Meryn Trant was a minor character and he received a more glorious death than Stannis Baratheon. For no other reason than just to be brutal, she gouges his eyes out, stuff his mouth with cloth and slit his throat after telling him he’s nobody. WHAT?! Arya Stark did that?! How did she learn how to apply the fake face? Probably by using her Northern terrain knowledge.
Doesn’t matter, she killed someone. For that she earned the ire of the man she thought was Ja’qen Haghar. We learn a new twist in the adage only death can pay for life. Now we also have: Only life can pay for death. For a moment we’re led to believe he’s about to kill Arya but he quaffs the poison himself and dies. Arya cried for a moment but is quickly confused when the waif standing behind her transformed into Ja’qen’s face.
In what would probably be the worse ending in a Scooby Doo episode, she repeatedly ripped off the mask, face after faces until she sees her own. Her vision starts to go. She’s blindand this is exactly as it should happen. Even though the show took a different route than the book, it ended in the same place, with the blinding of Arya Stark.
And then we have Dorne. Dorne was an embarrassment ever since it was introduced early in the season. This author has hoped some revelation in the finale can redeem this mess. Sadly, this episode capped it off with the cherry of the Sundae of Disappointment. “You’re looking for a good girl, but what you need is bad p****y”. That’s actually a quote from the show. Seriously! Dr. Bashir is doing a horrible job at reigning in his girls!
There’s nothing more to be said of Dorne. It will forever tarnish the image of a kingdom known for its equal treatment of women. Then again, a Westerosi man could have easily said “You’re looking for a good man but what you need is a bad D” and no one would bat an eye, so there we have it; Westeros version of female equality at its best.
Now it’s time to put on the tinfoil hat. What happened to Jon Snow? Yes, he was stabbed. Repeatedly. There was enough blood flowing out that we’re sure he’s pretty much dead. We saw Melisandre arriving in Castle Black to give Davos the bad news. Poor Davos. There’s a theory floating around for the past 5 years that Melisandre is there to revive Jon Snow.
And we also have this tidbit here that feeds one theory that Jon Snow warged into Ghost. There’s also the theory that Stannis Baratheon is not really dead. When he said “Do your duty”, some fans took this as a reminder for Brienne to save Sansa.
Stannis Fannis even went as far as hoping he’ll end up being the 1000th Lord Commander of the Knight’s Watch. Why 1000? Jon Snow was the 998th, after his death, Alliser Thorne will most likely be the 999th. He’ll probably die somewhere. Who else to better lead them than a tactical genius?
And there we have it. GRRM promised The Winds of Winter might be published before Season 6. Unfortunately the show would already be well on its way to post production by then. For the fans who are quickly growing disillusioned with the snow, this author only have this recommendation: come for the show, but stay for the books.
